The Great American Royal Wedding (Of The Future)

In the UK, the Royal Family has a far from sterling history, but despite this today they are revered as a symbol of nationalism and hope. Taking this into consideration, this is what an American analog of the Royal Wedding might look like 200 years down the line.

April 29, 2211 (New York, New York) Today is the day. The Sovereign Chief Executive Officer of The Great Council of Financial Magistrates Addison Bernanke, the figurehead of ruling class of financial institutions, is preparing for the marriage of her grandson James Bernanke to a woman from a non financial family. It is the first time this has happened in many years and with it comes a swell of optimism and hope throughout the poor Working Class. They see in Jennifer Smith, born the daughter of a meager Chief of Medicine, the opportunity to rise above the working class doldrums into the ranks of the Financial Elite.

Addison Bernanke comes from a long historical lineage of Financiers and Banking Magistrates. Her Grandfather of many greats, Sir Benjamin Bernanke, paved the way for the great and prosperous rule of the American Financial Elite with the help of many significant historical political figures such as Paul Ryan. “My family is largely responsible for the world you see today. It is our duty as the Sovereign Family to maintain the balance of power we have come to know.” Indeed, it was her family that was able to save the people from the burden of wealth that had been bestowed upon them, a wealth they widely misused in investments such as homes. Today, thankfully, the people aren’t weighed down by the management of their own money.

While the Sovereign Family has been accused of many terrible deeds in ancient history, in times before the onset of wearable media when people still carried cellular phones and watched televisions sets, today the people look upon them fondly. As one woman camped out on Wall St. put it, “I know what they did back then, but that was a long, long time ago. I just can’t get over how hunky James Bernanke is, what a lucky lady that Jennifer is. A fairytale!” She was one of the tens-of-thousands of people to come to Manhattan from all around the world to witness todays great coupling of James and Jennifer. CNBC, America’s oldest and most powerful news channel, has been covering the extravaganza 24/7. Reporters line the streets of Downtown Manhattan in hopes of catching a glimpse of one of the many financial magnates who’ve come in from all over the globe. Who made their body suits? What is their emotion emitter displaying?

“There is little in this world that compares to the American’s love for the Sovereign Family,” says Ellis Bret, a Financial Historian. “The Sovereign Chief Executive Officer has become synonymous with the American Wealth Gap and true patriotism of these great United States.”

Today we have the chance to witness history. The heir to the nation’s Sovereign Chief Executive Officer marrying a woman of humble beginnings. If becoming part of the Financial Elite isn’t the dream of the American People, I don’t know what is. Today we can watch it via live stream direct to our contact lenses, but tomorrow— maybe tomorrow holds a great love story of class accession for us as well.

Wrtiten By Joey Camire